Today included quite possibly the worst morning I have ever had to endure. I got out of bed, put my foot in a bucket of sick and stumbled and fell out of a window hitting every branch of a tree on the way down, landing into a skip filled with used nappies, only to climb up and out to fall into a muddy puddle where I get run over by a car, then a lorry filled with acid crashed into the car and spills its load all over me.
If this was true, I probably would have been happier.
Instead I woke up an hour and a half late for work, had a cold shower only to find that my work trousers were still wet despite me hanging them up to dry a good 17 hours before hand. Upon leaving the house I realise that in fact I've also left my cigarretes in my mates car and I have no money to buy lunch, so I now have to go back and make some.
I miss the bus and when I finally get on a train I have some fucking fat dude sitting next to me and a guy opposite with breath that smells so bad that I felt I was being gassed in Auschwitz.
What a fucking morning.
About Me
- William "Alpha Male" James
- London, United Kingdom
- Obviously my name is William James. I am an Alpha Male, party animal and only care about one thing- Myself. It has come to my attention that my antics on nights out should not be left just there. I figured these stories should be published somewhere. A guy at work suggested a blog because he finds my stories hilarious and he would "read it and piss himself laughing" over them. These stories are all 100% true. Feel free to email me with Hate mail. It makes me laugh.
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