Thursday 04/09/08

Today I recieved an email from James. A while ago he decided to buy a breathalyzer. On delivery of this (which took a very long time) he realised that the breathalyzer was as good as Stephen Hawkings singing. Dan also bought one from the same website...also a piece of shit.
James has emailed the company notifying them with his disgrace. I thought this would make a good blog and I would also like to call a Worldwide Boycott of this pile of shit website.

I realise that hardly anyone is as dependant as us on a breathalyzer as The Battalion, but if you find your self brooding for a breathalyzer dont use the one mentioned in the email...

This is James' email:

Dear Nigel Butterworth,

I am writing to you regarding your business recently with Mr Daniel MacGregor. He pointed out to me the shocking inadequecies and complete lack of care within your business, and I've had enough of it. I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, and it's time we put an end to it.I recently had some business with yourself, and to say I was horrified with the outcome would be an understatement. I would compare my business with yourselves to the events that took place in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. It was appalling. The breathaliser took fucking ages to arrive, and not only that, it didn't even work. That's right. You overcharged me for a piece of shit keyring breathaliser that was probably designed by a blind child with arthritis, you delayed posting it, meaning it took around 3 weeks to be delivered, and you couldn't even send me batteries that would make it work. I had to run out and buy myself new batteries, all thanks to breathalyserdirect.co.uk. And the sorry excuse for a breathalyser doesn't even work. I can go out and knock back around 8 or 9 vodka clubs, wait 15 minutes, and then get a reading of 0.01 on my shitty breathalyser. That's right, it doesn't even do what it says. It doesn't measure the amount of alcohol in your blood, as it should do, it only measures what was very recently in your breath. I could throw back a shot of absinthe, instantly do a reading and get 0.14, but when I've been out drinking and insulting all night I get nothing. In fact calling your breathalysers shitty is a bit of an understatement,since I use "shitty" to describe Christopher Reeve's sad excuse of a life. Who are you, Orbitz!? You people make me fucking sick. Stop misadvertising your products, and stop sucking Sony's dick.

Earlier on I decided to have a quick look at your sorry excuse for a website, and upon viewing it again I nearly had a coronary. I didn't know you employed autistic web designers! How can you even pretend to be a professional company when your website looks like the outcome of Cameron Diaz' period. Once I had stopped laughing at your shitty excuse of a webpage, I noticed something. You claim you supply to the NHS? No wonder the NHS is such a fucking joke! People are dying every day from your shitty service, and to compensate this you employ a retard with no qualifications to design your website, and put a shitty flash animation that pops up saying "Free Same Day Dispatch". Thanks a lot assholes. Do you happen to own an iPhone by any chance?

Moving on, lets think literally here. You say Free SAME DAY Dispatch. Do you mean the same day as when we purchase a breathaliser, or do you mean the same day as when you pull your thumb out your ass and actually do a decent days work for once in your life? You are a joke. Although I've got no proof, I'm pretty sure breathlyserdirect.co.uk had something to do with Madeline Mccann being taken away. You're sick. Fucking up one customers order is disappointing. It took me months to overcome my disappointment of having received a shitty, faulty breathalyser weeks late, and I still haven't fully recovered. But doing it again is inexcusable. I'm fed up of your constant bullshit, and as a result I will be telling everyone I know not to use your retarded service again. Thanks to you fucking around with another customer (Daniel MacGregor), I can assure you that that is the most expensive £54.50 you have ever made. You have not heard the end of this.

Regards,

James Ruggieri

Just like to say, that my breathalyzer works well, was cheaper than James' . I haven't posted any scores plainly because i'm saving it for a special occasion.